Hey Life…. I Am No Longer An Island

Life

Life. I spent my life as an island, but yet had these intense responsibilities placed in me as the family cog, the business cog, the friendship cog. Yet I never felt like I was a part of the actual machine. There was this weirdness of belonging but not mattering. But as you know, I am not alone in these feelings. I was the child pushed into being the caregiver, and never feeling cared for.


On the other side of this is some of you that maybe didn’t have any responsibilities, didn’t make your own decisions, and then felt less worthy because of it. It’s a connection that we never realize we are giving to our kids. We self select them. So you were the sweetheart and given the opportunity to delve into your parent’s dreams. It’s that identity that they gave to you.

Regardless you are living a life that was designed for you. You need to get out of the mindset, and get aligned to your machine. There is the “me” that is just begging to get out!


One of my favorite movies is “About A Boy”. When Hugh Grant says, “No man is an island.” there is this rationale that we all just get. It’s the cog in the gears of life. We aren’t just floating on this solo island of self absorption. But do you get that you have a purpose, the ability to control what your identity is, and where you belong in the machine of life. That moment of realization for any of us is epic. But for me it took many years to get to that point of life where I could get beyond that feeling of just being alone. Occasionally I still drift that way, but I pick up my oars and move myself back to the real world.

A few years ago I created a program called ELEV8 that was meant to help women mind-map out their identity. That program gave me this incredible nudge in a direction of truth. I stopped seeing the dollar signs, which can be pretty complicated if you grew up poor. I also started to realize that I had value. That meant it was okay to charge someone for helping them, but that the goal was to help. It had nothing to do with the money, because the truth was in my heart that I didn’t believe in me.

Do you know me? Does that sound at all like my personality?

Have you been there? Where you didn’t want to say, “Hey, I’m worth it?”

Even as a coach I had to double check myself because I knew that I was letting myself down every time I gave without any boundaries. Because it’s okay to give, but it’s not okay to stop believing in your own worth. If I went to school, if I have the knowledge, then it’s okay to say that I am worth the money to coach you. Because let me tell you, I am a fantastic holistic coach!

When I connected to holistically helping others I connected to the identity that I had been given as a small child. My identity was that of giver, not the receiver. So I didn’t give to myself. I allowed others to take of my knowledge and research and nature without giving myself the things that I needed. That led to broken relationships, and often an inability to focus on my calling for truth, love and health. People put on a smile of fraud every day. Everyone lies. But most of those lies are actually just to themselves. Even I was lost, and even I had to go back through and work on some things. That is how we grow, but we don’t grow with out obstacles or challenges. You either work it out, or you get lost.

We get lost. 

We become wrapped up in this vertical focus of life. We lose our oneness and that in turn depletes us of our community. We don’t know who we are, so we take the first name tag given.

Who you are, honestly, is the most important question you can ever ask yourself. I don’t mean as your title, although that’s another important one to consider in this journey. If you think about it your actual title changes one hundred times a day. Mother, sister, daughter, friend, employee, business owner, financial planner, taxi driver, event planner, nutritionist, therapist. If you can unwrap out of those titles, and dig down into the emotional core you will start to figure out those emotional drivers that have been pushing and pulling you all along. Emotions are deeply connected to who you have told yourself that you are.

Your emotions are the present moment, the future and your past. Your emotions are your memories tied into the smells and aromas you experience throughout your life. You have over 10,000 of them that are guiding you on a daily basis. This is what directs how you see yourself from minute to minute. When you look in the mirror, how does it make you feel? Inhale the mildew, how do you feel? Inhale fresh squeezed lemons, how do you feel? The feeling change – but you stay the same. So who are you?

We are each the complicated bits and pieces of life, stitched together by the truth of where we’ve been and beliefs we hold on to. I want to teach you how to define that whole being, work through those limitations that you’ve placed as boundaries to your goals. That is my purpose. I’m going to get you through the field of poppies and out to the glories on the other side. So let’s go!! I want to help you find our bridge, you are not an island. You are a community of brilliance!!

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